


Pins

by CuteSucculents



Category: Holby City
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2018-12-25 11:24:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12034878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuteSucculents/pseuds/CuteSucculents
Summary: Nobody winsWe stick pins into each otherThen cry I'm bleeding the mostNobody winsWe wear each other thinAnd brittle to the touchBut I've not had enough





	1. there are bruises where your hands lay

**Author's Note:**

> Check out Phan_of_Shipping bc they helped to edit/correct this bc it's my first fic in a while, so read their work bc it's actually so good!  
> Like I said, this is my first fic in a while and I'm really nervous to post it so you know comments and kudos appreciated! I hope you enjoy!

Dom’s whole body shook as he inched tentatively towards the bathroom from where he had been sat, frozen still, for nearly an hour after Isaac had made his way to bed. Wincing at every noise his feet made on the polished wooden floor, Dom shut the door of the bathroom, slowly pulling the bolt across; not that it made him feel any safer. Moving faster than before, Dom stepped towards the toilet, quickly opening the lid as he felt the vomit building up in his throat.  
Still coughing violently, he sat next to toilet, disgusted by the smell that now seemed to fill the entire, spacious, bathroom of Isaac’s flat. Reaching for the handle, Dominic grimaced as the stretch aggravated the pain of the bruises forming on his torso. He stood up, cautiously, whilst the dizziness took control of his head, but resting his hand on the wall, Dom managed to flush the toilet, in an attempt to clear the air from the smell coming from it. Phone in one hand; the other tightly gripped round his ribs, Dom moved to sit on the edge of the bath, trying to keep himself from collapsing from the nausea.   
“He hit me.”  
With shaking fingers and the taste of vomit still lingering in his mouth, Dom typed each letter slowly, in a text message addressed to Zosia. He smiled at her last (slightly tipsy) text to him, but his chuckle stopped as soon as it had started as he looked at his own typed out message - the events of the evening replaying in his mind. 

Isaac rolled over to face Dom, eyes wide open; staring at him as he tried to subtly remove his jeans and baggy jumper. Just before slipping into the king-sized double bed, Dom caught a glimpse of the deep crimson mark that covered the side of his upper body in the mirror of the dimly lit room, and he quietly picked a t-shirt from the drawer next to ‘his’ side of the bed; not that Dom felt like anything in this flat was ‘his’ anymore. Isaac stirred whilst Dom pulled the corner of the duvet over his shivering body, raising his arm and placing his palm on his partner’s hot, tear-stained face.  
“I’ve told you I’m sorry, Dominic. I’m not sure what else you want me to say.” Dominic felt a chill go through his bones with every word that Isaac spoke, calmly and quietly, into his ear. Dom shook his head, saying nothing as he rolled away from his boyfriend, turning to face the harsh, white wall. As he did so, Dom felt Isaac’s strong hands grip tightly around his upper-arm. Dom could only screw up his face with defeat as the words “I love you, Dom” were whispered, chillingly, in his ear.  
“I know.” Unsatisfied with his shaky voice and weak reply, Isaac continued to tighten his grip on Dom’s arm, until he managed the words, “I love you too.”  
With that, Isaac let go and Dom sighed, quietly, with relief as his partner rolled to the other side of the bed; away from him. Dom heard the click of the lamp being turned off and closed his eyes… allowing a single tear to roll down his cheek before quickly wiping it away and placing his hand on top of the marks that he knew would be forming on his right arm.

Dom hadn’t moved an inch the whole night; his eyes still wide open when Isaac stirred and began to move towards him, to kiss his cheek. Noticing the obvious dark circles surrounding Dominic’s sleep deprived eyes, Isaac sighed.  
“I’ll make you a coffee.” Isaac proclaimed, sounding smug, like it was going to be the cure to all of Dom’s problems. Smiling back weakly, Dom stayed silent. Isaac began to walk away, but paused when he reached the glossy white door on the other side of the room, resting his hand on the edge.  
“I hope you’re not going to give me the silent treatment all day, I had enough of it last night. You pushed me too far, Dominic, and I’ve already explained that I’m sorry.” Before Dom could react, Isaac was out of the room, and he rolled over to look up at the ceiling. Dom wiped both hands over the entirety of his face, feeling the slight bristles that had started growing on his jaw, as if his palms could take away the ache and tiredness that seemed to encase his entire body. Minutes passed, seeming like days as he thought about the previous night, trying to get his head round how Isaac, the man he loved, could do what he did.  
“I’ll phone the hospital, I’m not having you go into work on no sleep,” Isaac said, casually, as he strolled back into the room to hand Dom the coffee, “back in a tick!”   
He left the room again with Dominic’s phone in hand, and Dom sat up, pushing himself up with his arms before removing them from under the duvet. He almost gasped when he saw the four indigo bruises on his arm, as he pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt slightly, but could only breathe out quickly, with his eyes shut, as he heard Isaac talking on the phone in the next room. The words “vomit”, “no sleep” and “fainting” stood out to him; Dom could almost laugh at the similarity of Isaac’s version of events and the truth... the only difference being that Isaac conveniently forgot the cause of the symptoms.  
The phone call ended and Dom sipped the small, hot coffee that had been placed on the bedside table. He could only hear his heart beating loudly in his ears, as Isaac remained silent, outside of the room.  
“Dominic.” The word sent waves of anxiety through Dom; the cold tone of Isaac’s voice immediately told him that something was wrong.


	2. You've done enough.

Storming back through to the bedroom, Isaac practically punched the door out of his way as he angrily approached Dom.  
“You were going to tell her?!” Dom could feel the yells in his chest, his shaking hands making his anxiety obvious. Isaac scoffed, almost laughing; speaking again before Dom could react. “You were. How could you do this, Dominic? You know that I’m sorry but if Zosia finds out she’ll try and break us apart. You don’t want that, do you?” Isaac phrased it as a question, but to Dominic it felt like more of a command. As Isaac took a step closer to him, Dom panicked and quickly spoke.  
“Isaac, of course not.” Clenching his fists with nervousness, Dom flashed a small smile at Isaac, who proceeded to take a seat on the edge of the bed - his head looking towards his feet on the floor and his fingers interlocking and his elbows rested on his knees. Isaac sighed, before looking into Dominic’s green eyes. With his hand on the back of Dom’s neck, Isaac leant in to kiss his boyfriend. Dom forced himself to reciprocate the action, trying to hide the pain his body was in and the terror that seemed to be pumping through his veins.

“We can move on from this, Dom, I know we can,” Isaac paused as he squeezed Dom’s hand. “You just can’t tell Zosia. Understand?” Unsatisfied with the reply, a weak nod, Isaac held Dominic’s hand tightly, with more poisonous words slipping out of his mouth. “Please don’t hate me; I know I’ve hurt you but I promise, I’m trying to protect you.”  
Dom let out a small laugh, looking into Isaac’s eyes, wondering if he could hear himself right.  
“Oh, because you’ve been doing such a good job of that recently.” Looking away from Isaac, Dom regretted his words instantly, wishing he’d just remained quiet, but Isaac let go of Dom’s hand.  
“I know that I was wrong last night, but Dominic, please don’t hate me, I promise it’ll never happen again. You can trust me.” Dom knew he shouldn’t believe Isaac, but he could see the remorse and sadness in Isaac’s eyes, so reached for his hands and held them.  
“I don’t hate you; I just don’t need you to protect me, especially not from my own friend.” Isaac smiled at Dom and nodded, happy with the reassurance that he was forgiven.  
“I get it, Dom, I do. I just love you and I don’t want anything to come between us.”  
“Neither do I.” Dom sighed, pecking Isaac on the cheek to reassure him.  
Isaac stood up, smiling a smug grin.   
Strolling across the room, he went to look out his clothes for his shift that started in an hour. Whilst he moved around the room, locating his various items of clothing, he began to speak again.  
“I’ll make you breakfast before I go, what do you fancy?” Dom shook his head, insisting he’d get himself something later, but Isaac was reluctant to take no for an answer.  
“Please, Dom. Let me do something.”  
“You’ve done enough, honestly.” Isaac looked at Dom, with guilt across his face and Dom swallowed, realising how it come across. “Sorry, that sounded mean.” Isaac didn’t say anything before leaving the room to shower and get dressed for work.

Dom noticed an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, knowing that he’d upset things between them again, but lay back down and closed his eyes, desperate to find something else in his mind to cling on to.   
Drifting off, Dom could almost feel all the thoughts racing around his head, and he was suddenly replaying the whole ordeal in his mind; he could see the anger on Isaac’s face as clear as day, the pain as the punch hit his body, and his eyes shot open, his whole body jerking upwards as the thought of it happening again shocked his whole system.  
“It’s okay, Dom, I’m here.” Dom’s eyes shot open, met by Isaac, half-dressed with his hair still wet from the shower, stood over him. “You must have fallen asleep, finally!” Isaac grinned as he spoke, and Dom laughed slightly, still wondering how this could be the same man who had hurt him so cruelly the previous night.  
“Do you need me to stay with you today?” Isaac offered, but Dom shook his head. “I can easily take the day off if you need me, Dominic.”  
“No no, Keller can’t be down two doctors. I’ll be fine.” Isaac looked hesitant, raising an eyebrow at Dom. “I promise.”  
“Well, only if you’re sure!” Isaac walked over to his wardrobe, pulling on a white shirt and mahogany brown waistcoat. He walked back over to where Dominic lay, leaning down to kiss his forehead.  
“I’ll call you, check if you’re alright.” He whispered, and Dom reached out his hand, placing it on Isaac’s back for a few seconds. Isaac left the room, picking up his leather briefcase from the end of his bed and smiling back at Dom from the doorway.  
Holding his breath until he heard the slam of the front door, Dom clenched his fists in confusion and frustration. Sighing, he threw the covers off his body, and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, a sharp pain rushing through his torso, where large red blotches seemed to consume him. Dom spotted the closely packed bruises on his arm in the large mirror on the wall, and he gasped for breath. Elbows rested on his bare knees, and his head in his hands, Dom sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that chapter, even if it did take me like a month to finish and upload! I have been a bit bogged down with college and work, but hopefully I'm sorting out the whole kind of balance now, so updates should be a little more regular!  
> Leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed, means a lot x


	3. walking on eggshells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @rycbarmerlin (tumblr url) for reading all my crappy chapters and helping me make them better, sooooo grateful for your help!!

Toast (covered in strawberry jam) in hand, Dominic lay on the sofa, briefly sighing at the reflection of his tear-stained face in the black screen of the television. He reached over for the remote that was placed on the arm of the sofa, wincing slightly as he did so, pain twinging through his side again. Before he could turn the TV on, his phone began ringing in his pocket. Dom jumped at the sudden noise and the vibration of his phone in his pocket, but he slipped the mobile into his hand and paused as he read Zosia’s name on the screen. He closed his eyes, knowing the questions she would have about where he was and why he hadn’t turned up last night. Sliding his thumb across his screen, Dom answered the call.  
“Dominic Copeland."  
“Hey.” Hearing the weakness in his own voice, Dom ran his hand through his hair, breathing out slowly.  
“Toastie Friday? Where are you?” Dom could hear the worry in Zosia’s tone and excuses ran through his head as he tried to come up with a plausible reason for him to be at home.  
“Oh yeah, sorry, meant to text you. I’m not coming in today, was vomiting last night so Isaac thought it’d be best for me to say.”  
“Did he now? You two had a late night then, I take it?” Dominic could hear the disapproving tone of Zosia’s voice, and knew this was her way of pushing him to explain why he’d stood her up.  
“Nothing as glamourous as that, just an argument. I couldn’t leave him with everything like that.” Zosia wasn’t convinced by the excuse from her best friend, but she knew that this was all she was going to get for now. Despite this, ideas began racing through her mind as to what had really happened, and how she could get Dom to open up to her.  
“Right, come round tonight, I still have that must-see boxset that remains unseen, and a bottle of red wine that remains unopened. Got to run, Jac’s on the war path, but I’ll see you at mine, let’s say… 8? Love you, bye!” Zosia had purposefully spoken quickly, not letting Dom get a word in edgeways, so he couldn’t say no.  
She and Dominic both knew this and as Dom heard the beep of the phone telling the call was over, he put his head in his hands; He couldn’t bear risking a repeat of last night’s incident, so he texted Isaac immediately, before his paranoid visions of Zosia running into him came true.

As the end titles of This Morning rolled down the TV screen, Dominic jumped as he heard the key in the lock of the front door. Before the door was open, Dom quickly rolled his sleeves down, tightly holding the cuffs over his hands in a weak attempt to comfort himself or feel a little less scared. Isaac approached him, dropping his briefcase on the floor next to the TV.  
“Watching this crap again, are you?” Isaac said, his harsh voice juxtaposing the smile on his face. Dom only slightly nodded in agreement - not looking up from the screen that was a few metres in front of him.  
“Come on, Dominic, at least give me a hug! I sacrificed my hot lunch date at Pulses to come here and check on you.” Looking up to meet his gaze, Dom leant towards Isaac, who was now sat on the arm of the grey sofa. The men embraced, Isaac holding his boyfriend tightly, not noticing – or choosing to ignore – Dom’s winces as his arms pressed into the darkening bruises on his torso.  
“How was your morning?” Dom asked, as he leaned back into the sofa, his legs crossed with a blanket strewn across the top. Isaac laughed, standing up and walking across to his kitchen area. Dom never liked the open plan space in Isaac’s flat; it reminded him of his flat with Arthur and Zosia too much.  
“I seem to be the only competent doctor on the ward, it feels like I’ve spent the whole day banging my head against a brick wall.”  
“Is Sacha not there?” Dom asked, twisting around to face Isaac as he poured himself a glass of water from the filtered jug he insisted on having left out on the side.  
“Oh, Sacha’s there, but you can’t rely on that oaf of a man for anything.” Dom stayed silent, wanting to rush to the defence of one of his only friends, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to speak. Instead, he felt his index finger picking at the skin on the edge of his thumb nail.  
“Want a drink of anything?”  
“Don’t worry, I’ll get myself something later.” Dom and Isaac smiled at each other, only breaking eye contact as Dom stood up. He paused as the blood rushed away from his brain, dizziness overcoming him.  
“You alright, Dom?”  
“Yes, yeah, I’m fine. Isaac, you didn’t have to come back, you know?” Dominic said, as he walked towards Isaac, slowly regaining normality in his vision.  
“I know, I wanted to see you before you left me to spend the night at Zosia’s.” Isaac was sharper with his words, and Dom felt like he was walking on eggshells.  
“I’m sorry, I did promise her.”  
“You don’t need _her_ , you’ve got me, Dominic.” Dom nodded, his finger still picking at his thumb with nervousness and anxiety.  
“I know, Isaac. I love you, but she’s my best friend. She just wants to hang out, it’s nothing major.”  
“I just don’t understand why she needs to see you that badly.” Dom could have cried, and he continued to reiterate that it was just one night, until Isaac finally declared that he needed to get back to work.  
“Isaac, don’t leave now, please. I’m sorry, you know I love you but I already stood her up last night.”  
“Of course, it’s my fault. It always has to be someone else’s fault with you, doesn’t it?” Isaac stormed out of the flat, his anger clear through the large slam of the door. Dom scrolled to Zosia’s number, his finger hovering over the call button.

He put his phone on the marble kitchen surface, face-down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! Hope you enjoyed it, should be another one within a week as I'm on half term now!   
> Thanks for reading and leave a comment/kudos if you liked this chapter or have any suggestions?


	4. our broken fairytale is so hard to hide

Zosia’s fingers tapped repetitively on her knee as she lay curled up on the sofa in her cosy living room. The fire was roaring loudly over the TV show that she had muted, listening in anticipation for the doorbell to ring.  
Her hand held on to her phone tightly, willing it to ring. Anything to let her know Dominic was on his way.  
She unfolded her legs from underneath her and walked to the kitchen, and then back to the sofa again. Pacing, she spoke quietly to herself; the anxiety of where Dominic was and what had happened to him running through her body. She picked up her phone, then put it down again, glancing at the time.

20:04

“He’s not even that late, it’ll just be traffic.” Zosia tried to reassure herself, still pacing the floor. As she reached the kitchen for a fourth time, she took the wine out of the fridge and removed two, large, sparkling glasses from the cupboard above the sink. With the only sounds being the pat of Zosia’s bed socks on the varnished wooden floors and the crackle of the fire, Zosia jumped as she recognised a faint knock on the front door. As she walked through the living room to reach the hallway, Zosia nearly threw the glasses and wine onto the coffee table in her rush to open the door.

As she twisted the lock of the door open and pulled it towards her, she saw her best friend stood, shivering outside in the cold, winter night; two pizzas in one arm and a bunch of roses in the other hand.  
“Delivery for the bestest friend in the whole wide world?”  
“Sounds like you got the right house! Come in, it’s freezing out there.” Zosia pushed the door open enough for Dominic to get into the house, and as he did so, she hugged him. The embrace was so tight Dom felt as if she’d never let go, but he could not hide his wince as her arm tightened around his bruised torso.  
“You alright?” Dom nodded at Zosia, kissing her on the cheek as he removed his shoes and pushed them towards the wall with his feet.  
“Sorry for missing Toastie Friday, Isaac thought I should stay at home and we already argued last night, I didn’t want to cause another scene.”  
“No worries, I think that pizza might just make up for it. Come on, we have to consume unholy volumes of wine and talk about boys.” Zosia and Dom laughed as they walked through to the living room; Dom was happy to spend time with his friend again and away from Isaac. It felt like he could relax for the first time since the two had started dating.  
“Yes, how are things with Mr Valentine?” Zosia shot him a look, a smirk on her face. Dom laughed at her, “that well?”  
“Yes, actually.” Zosia chuckled as they both sat down on the sofa, “we’re very happy together. And Mr Mayfield?”  
Dom smiled and forced a laugh, but Zosia sensed the hesitation.  
_I can just talk about it._  
“Dominic?”  
_Maybe I’ll talk about it._  
“You know you can talk to me, whatever it is.”  
_I’ll never talk about it._  
Dom gulped, shaking his head.  
_I cannot talk about it._  
“Don’t worry, Zosia. Nothing’s the matter, he’s perfect. We’re perfect. Just like a fairytale.”  
_A broken fairytale._

Making a mental note to leave that particular avenue until they were slightly more drunk than at present, Zosia twisted open the bottle of wine with the cork screw that had been left on the coffee table from the previous night.  
As the credits of RuPaul’s Drag Race rolled down the screen for the fifth time, Dom sat up to pour himself another wine. The best friends had worked their way through two bottles of wine and a third had had to be opened to keep up with their drinking. Zosia had consumed significantly less than Dom, and she kept watching him leaning forward to refill his large glass, worry building up in her head. It was as if he was trying to bury something in his mind, as if the more wine he drank, the less he had to think about it.  
“I take it you’re feeling better since last night then?” Zosia said, breaking the silence that had begun to loom.  
“What?” Dom had jumped at Zosia’s sudden words; almost as if he had drifted off somewhere else, in his own thoughts. “Oh right, yeah. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”  
“I am worrying, Dom. You’ve been so… different, lately.” Dom looked over at her, and she saw the genuine pain in his eyes.  
He saw the genuine worry in hers.  
“I haven’t, it’s just…”  
“Just what? Dom?”  
Shaking his head, Dom said nothing. Zosia moved her head to rest on his shoulder, her hand slipping around his torso and resting on his bruised ribs. Dom tried to suppress the flinch of his whole body as her hand touched the damaged tissue, but Zosia still noticed.  
“I love you, Dominic Copeland. Whatever’s going on, you can tell me.” Suddenly, Dom sat up, shaking Zosia off of him.  
“No, Zosia. I can’t. I’m sorry but I can’t. I think I should go home.” Taken aback by his outburst, Zosia shook her head as they both stood up. “I need to be back before Isaac leaves for his morning shift, so um, yeah.”  
“Dom..” Zosia’s tone was soft and gentle, the concern for her friend glaringly obvious. Dom stared at her, wishing that Isaac loved and cared about him as much as he knew Zosia did. No, Zosia can’t help you.  
She’ll get hurt.  
You’ll get her hurt.  
Leave her out of this, you don’t deserve her love. Her compassion. Her protection.

“I’m sorry, Zosh. I have to go.” Dom turned away, making his way towards the door. He stumbled, the wine he had been drinking clearly inhibiting his ability to walk properly.  
“Dom,” Zosia was shouting now, desperately trying to get him to listen, “how do you expect to get home?”  
“I don’t know, I’ll figure something out, don’t worry about me.” Dom had grabbed his coat and loosely slipped his shoes onto his feet. He opened Zosia’s front door as she sighed, accepting that he was leaving. He slipped outside, immediately feeling the chill hitting his skin.  
“Dominic, please just stay, we can talk about whatever this is.”  
“I’ll see you at work, Zosia. Thanks for having me.” With that, Dom pulled the door shut and began to walk away, down the road and into the darkness.  
Zosia turned away from the front door, still leaning against it. She slid down to the floor, tears escaping her eyes. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her contacts, trying to find anyone that she could call or text; someone to explain of her racing thoughts to. Her thumb stopped, as she saw “Kyle Greenham”.  
Starting to type out a text, Zosia suddenly heard a noise coming from the lounge. As she walked through, she recognised it as a vibrating phone, on the sofa. It was slightly wedged between the cushion and the back. Reaching down to retrieve it, Zosia read Isaac’s name across the screen of Dominic’s phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long! sixth form is so hard but i'm on christmas holidays now so i'm hoping to get another chapter up before i go back!  
> remember to give kudos and comment! thanks!


	5. even if it's a lie

“Dominic, where the _hell_ are you?” Zosia jumped at the anger in Isaac’s voice.  
“Hi, Isaac? It’s Zosia.” Determined to stay calm, despite her concerns, she spoke slowly and clearly. She heard Isaac exhaling loudly.  
“Where’s Dom? He said he’d be home by midnight.”  
“He was supposed to be staying over at mine actually, but he just left. I guess you’ll see him soon.” Zosia’s voice wobbled with uncertainty, worried that Dom wouldn’t make it home.

  _Or that he would._

Dominic paced outside, a few streets away from Isaac’s flat. He knew he should get back, that Isaac would be back from his shift by now, and that his boyfriend would be getting angrier and angrier each minute that he wasn’t home. He didn’t want a repeat of last night’s incident, but he’d been panicking since realised he couldn’t find his phone in his pockets. Dom had considered going back to Zosia’s to see if he’d left it there, but the air was cold and he couldn’t quite face seeing Zosia again after he’d been so rude to her.  
Clenching his fists in paranoia and anxiety, concealed in the pockets of his blue duffle coat, Dominic began to walk towards the block of posh flats that he and Isaac lived in. He could see his breath in floating in foggy clouds in front of his face, the street lamps illuminating the way ahead. He walked past the spot on the corner of a junction where Isaac had parked his car - full of Dom’s stuff from his old flat, when he was moving in. The memories played in his mind; happy memories. That day had been smiles and laughter, despite Isaac’s repeated complaints that Dom had too much stuff, and where could it possibly all go?  
Dom looked up at the building in which he now lived, and he saw the lights to Isaac’s flat were still on. He shivered as he walked into the warm building, suddenly realising how cold he had been. Looking over at the closed doors of the lift, Dom decided to take the stairs. It’d warm him up, and delay the argument with Isaac that Dom had planned out in his head, in preparation for the worst. The happy memories he’d been focusing on quickly faded as he walked closer and closer to the flat.  
Knocking quickly on the door, Dom closed his eyes; not knowing what to expect. He was on edge that Isaac would erupt again like he had last night, but another part of his mind kept telling him it would all be okay. Isaac had apologised, repeatedly.

_You’re blowing this out of proportion, he never meant to hurt you. You made him angry, it’s your fault. You should be sorry, not him. He’s trying to look after you._

“Dom! I was worried about you.” Dominic was met by a hug, his boyfriend’s arms holding his body tightly. He exhaled slightly, thankful that Isaac really did seem to be sorry about the previous night. If he wasn’t sorry, why would he be so loving now?   
“I really was going crazy, Dom. You worried me, I thought you were coming back at midnight.” Isaac practically dragged Dom inside, quickly shutting the door behind him and taking his coat off, much like parent would help a toddler.  
“I’m sorry, Isaac, I’m so sorry.” Dom was nearly tearful, convincing himself that Isaac would hate him.  
“Dominic, don’t worry! I just thought you might have been hurt or something terrible. And then when Zosia answered your phone… I really did think the worst.” Dom shook his head, realising how stupid he’d been to leave his phone at Zosia’s.  
“Sorry, that was really silly of me. I won’t do it again, I just lost track of time and then we…”  
“What happened, Dominic?” Isaac reached his arm out to comfort Dom, and noticed Dominic flinch as he did so.  
“Nothing, we just argued a bit, and then I came here.” Dom regretted mentioning their argument, scared that Isaac would ask what it was about. His index finger began to pick at the peeling skin surrounding his thumbnail; a nervous habit he’d had all his life.  
“I’m sorry, Dom. I know how close you two were, but I wouldn’t worry about it. You’ve got me now, and, you’ll be pleased to hear I’ve managed to swap our shifts over, so we’ll be working at the same time again. I don’t know what idiot decided to change them in the first place.” Dom nodded along, but inside he was devastated. The only relief he’d been getting from all the intensity of Isaac and their relationship recently was working on opposite shifts.“Come on, it’s late and we’re both working in the morning!” The pair walked to the bedroom. Isaac was already in his pyjamas, so he got into bed first, his eyes intently following Dominic around the room as he undressed.  
Dom could feel Isaac’s eyes staring him down, and he stripped down to his boxers and the white t-shirt he’d been wearing all evening. He picked another t-shirt out of his drawers and began to make his way towards the bathroom, before he stopped at Isaac’s voice.

“Going somewhere?”  
“Just need to use the bathroom, I stink of wine.” Isaac nodded at Dom’s response, almost giving his permission for Dom to leave the room. He could see the dark marks seeping through Dom’s white t-shirt when he was under the bright lights hanging from the ceiling. As Dominic walked out of the room, Isaac smiled to himself, basking in the power he now knew he held over his boyfriend.

Dom stood in the shower, wincing as the hot water ran over the small cuts within the bruising along his torso. The high volume of wine he had drunk felt like a big cloud around his brain, the alcohol allowing his body to slip but leaving him unable to catch his fall. Dominic sat down, unable to move. He’d slipped and knocked yesterday’s contusions yet again on the side of the bath, and it felt like pain was ripping through his whole torso, despite the pain-relieving effects of alcohol. Tears fell from his eyes as he reached to the taps to turn the water off and went to stand up. He managed to drag himself out of the bath that the shower head stood over and onto the cold floor of Isaac’s bathroom. After quickly putting his t-shirt and boxers back on, Dom walked over to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror whilst he brushed his teeth. He knew he had lost weight; all the bones in his face were more prominent and he looked grey. _Weak. Pathetic._  
Slowly walking back through to the bedroom, Dom smiled at Isaac as he slipped into the bed, to lie facing his partner. He lay on his right side, to avoid compressing the already painful bruises on the left side of his rib cage. Isaac’s hand slid under Dom’s shirt, his fingers running over the body that his feet had torn into the night before.  
“You should let me have a look at this.”  
“I’m fine,” Dom shook his head, “I promise.”  
“We’ll get you an X-ray before our shift starts, you might have broken your ribs.” Seeing the nervousness in Dom’s eyes, Isaac went on.

“I just want to protect you, Dominic. I love you.”

Dom stared into Isaac’s eyes, and he made himself believe the words. He made himself say them back.  
 _Even if it’s a lie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey! got another chapter up so soon and i'm actually pretty happy with this one, hope you enjoy!!  
> big thanks to @rycbarmerlin (tumblr) for reading all these chapters before they go up and generally making them better!! it really means a lot and also you write amazing fics, so everyone go read them :))))


	6. shell of a man

Dom stood in the queue to the till of Pulses. Glancing up at the clock, he checked the time. 6:50. His feet shifted nervously as he realised Isaac would be waking up around now, wondering where he had gone. He didn’t want to wake Isaac just to tell him that he’d booked himself in for an early X-ray before their shift started, curious of the extent of the injuries inflicted by his boyfriend. He knew Isaac would be upset, even though it was him that suggested the X-ray, so Dom had quietly left for work over an hour early.

Dom’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a phone being thrust in front of him.

“Forget something last night?” Dom sighed with relief, realising it was Zosia.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for things to get so…” Dom paused, searching for the right words, “out of hand.” He took the phone from Zosia’s hand, quickly pressing it on and noticing multiple texts from Isaac.

“I’m just worried about you. That’s all.”

“You don’t have to be! Same old me, just like always.” Dom smiled, putting his arm over Zosia’s shoulder as they reached the counter. Zosia grinned back at her Dom; feeling unsettled inside, but forcing herself to believe him.

“We’ll have two teas and two croissants, please.” Dom asked the man behind the counter, who nodded. “On me, as an apology.” He said, turning to face Zosia.

“You don’t have to say sorry, Dom, you haven’t done anything wrong.” He began to shake his head at her response, before she continued to speak. “However, I won’t say no to a free breakfast.” The pair laughed, Dom handing over a £10 note and stuffing the change into the pocket of his grey hoodie.

Taking their breakfasts, Zosia and Dom walked into the lift. The doors closing, Dom could feel the vibration of his phone in his pocket as he reached over to the press the ‘3’ button.

“Isaac?” Zosia said, noticing the vibrations too. Dom pulled the phone from his pocket and quickly glanced at the screen. He nodded, looking at the picture of he and his boyfriend kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower. His thumb hovered over the answer button, but, hesitantly, he declined the call. Zosia watched Dom’s urge to answer the call, relieved that he had turned his phone off and returned the mobile to him pocket. “He called, last night. And this morning.”

“When?”

“About 6:30? I told him I was on my way to the hospital and I’d look out for you. He sounded worried.” The lift jolted upward, and Dom sipped his tea from the card cup that it was served in.

“I didn’t exactly tell him I was leaving this early. Our shift doesn’t start until 8 but I’ve just got some paperwork to catch up on.”

“I’ll come and help, if you’d like. Hang out? Like last night, but less… drunk.” Nervous she might find out he was booked in for an X-ray, Dominic quickly shook his head.

“I’ll be alright. To be honest, I’m quite hungover so I think an hour by myself is just what I need.”

“Okay, Dr Copeland, but before you go I have a gift.” Zosia reached into her pocket and pulled out a packet of paracetamol. Dom laughed, taking it and putting it in his own pocket as the lift stopped and the doors began to open.

“Just what the doctor ordered! Thank you, I’ll see you soon.” Dom said, smiling weakly as he walked out of the lift.

“Have a good day, Dom!” As the lift doors closed, Zosia became angry with herself.  _ What’s going on with him?  _ Unsure of how to proceed with her suspicions, she took her own phone out of her pocket. After opening Safari, Zosia quickly typed into the search bar as the lift began moving up.

_ ‘Signs of domestic abuse’ _

“Low self-esteem, being extremely apologetic, alcohol problems, sadness, hopelessness…” Zosia read the list aloud, her voice cracking and eyes blinking rapidly as tears began to form in her eyes. “Dom…”

 

Isaac slammed the door of the locker room shut, the loud noise making Dominic, who was staring out the window with his back to the door, jump. As Dom turned around to look, he was met with Isaac’s strong grip around his neck, pushing him harshly against the wall that separated the two large windows of the Keller locker room.

“And where  _ the hell  _ were you this morning?” Feeling Dom struggling for air as his hand pushed into his throat, Isaac let go. Dom gasped for air, painfully trying to let words escape his mouth. All he could manage was a simple “x-ray”, before he had to sit down suddenly on the bench in the middle of the room, shock overcoming him. Isaac watched his boyfriend sit down, and let out a small laugh, relishing in the control he had.

“You should have told me. I’ll see you out there, I need you at Bed Five.” Isaac sauntered out of the room, and Dom sat in the silence that was left. His hands reaching up to where Isaac had left red marks upon his skin, he failed to stop a tear falling from his cheek. Hearing the door again, Dom quickly wiped the tear from his cheek, and stood up, expecting to face Isaac again.

“Everything alright? Did I hear a bit of door slamming?” Essie’s soft voice filled Dom’s ears. She looked up at him, confused at his worried look and shaking hands.

“Oh, that? No, no, sorry that was just me closing the door a bit too fast. Didn’t mean to make such a racket.”

“It’s okay, just thought I’d check you were okay, haven’t seen you in a while! Did you take Friday off?” Dom nodded, explaining that he hadn’t slept and had been vomiting on Thursday night; that he thought he’d better take the day off, just in case. Essie remained stood in the doorway, beckoning Dom to come out onto the ward.

“Well, I trust you’re feeling better today, we’re stretched to breaking point.” Dom nodded and walked towards her, smiling as she squeezed his shoulder. “Isaac wants you at Bed Five.”

Essie strode out and into the ward, whilst Dom quickly headed to the bathroom. Splashing cold water on his face and neck, Dom stared into the mirror, barely recognising the shell of himself that stared back; realising how weak he was.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! I have the next chapter written as well and I'm working on chapter 8 so it wont be too long of a wait, i promise! life is a bit crazy atm but yep leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyeddddd :)


	7. time and place

The day passed too slowly for Dom, who was checking the clock every time he was distracted or unoccupied. He ignored texts from Zosia asking if he wanted to meet at Pulses for lunch, instead settling for the salad that Isaac had made for him; not wanting to risk refusing it. Sacha had been patient with Dom’s seemingly constant state of being ‘somewhere else entirely’, but Isaac not so much. Aggressive words and harsh questions were hissed into his ear regularly throughout the day, and yet Dom still found himself holding Isaac’s hand as they walked out of the hospital that evening into the cold darkness outside.  
“What do you fancy tonight? I’m cooking.” Isaac said, his voice calm and his mouth curled into a smile as the two men got into Isaac’s deep blue sport’s car. Dom um-med and ah-ed before settling on beef bourguignon, the first meal they shared after Dom had moved into Isaac’s flat. He hoped it would remind them both of a time where things were simpler. Less violent.  
“Odd choice, but whatever you choose.” Isaac laughed as he spoke, leaning over to where Dom sat next to him to kiss his cheek. Dom turned his head and laughed, briefly blocking out the pain that Isaac had been inflicting upon him recently; replacing it with the love he knew was still there.

 _The only love you’ll ever know._ Dom couldn’t tell if it was his own mind or Isaac’s words speaking in his head, but he quickly stopped laughing and looked out of the window whilst Isaac started the engine and drove the car out of the car park, towards their local supermarket.  
Dom’s hand reached around his torso, resting on his ribs.  
“You said you had an X-ray? What did it show?”  
“It’s nothing really, just a couple of broken ribs, that’s all.” Dom said quietly, hoping it didn’t set Isaac off.  
“Could be worse, considering how you were going to leave me all alone with no warning, just to spend time with Zosia. I bet she’s never cooked you beef bourguignon, has she?” Isaac had been jealous of how close Dominic was with Zosia ever since they met, and he knew he couldn’t have her meddling in their relationship anymore. Determined to push them further apart, Isaac continued. “Why did you spend the evening with her yesterday anyway? It’s not as if she really cares about you. If she did surely she would have noticed something like a broken rib.”

Dom stayed silent.

“You know you don’t need her, you have me, silly. I take it you won’t go and see her again tonight?”  
Dom simply nodded as he kept his face turned away from Isaac, but his boyfriend was not content with silence. His hand reached over, tightly wrapping around Dominic’s already bruised upper arm.  
“No, of course I won’t, Isaac.” Dom paused, trying to keep his voice from cracking, “I have you.” He forced a smile and Isaac’s hand returned to the steering wheel.

 

The smell of Isaac’s cooking filled the entire flat and Dom could hear the bubbling of boiling water in pans over the hob from where he was stood in the bathroom; door locked. He faced the mirror that covered most of the wall opposite the door. His shirt was on the floor next to his feet, and Dom tightly held his phone, hand shaking slightly, as he looked closely at the bruises on his body. Bringing the camera up on his phone, he lifted his hand, pointing the phone towards the reflection of himself. He lifted his other arm, exposing the full extent of Isaac’s anger to the camera. Thumb reaching down the button to take the photo, Dom jumped as he heard a knock on the door.  
“Dom? Dinner’s nearly ready, don’t be too long!” Dom sighed with relief, releasing that Isaac thought he was still in the bubble bath that he had run earlier. He hadn’t spent too long in the hot water; the heat only made the pain in his torso worse.  
After quickly flipping the camera to photograph the bruises that were scattered around his upper arm, Dominic threw his t-shirt back on, glad to cover the marks on his skin. He took the packet of paracetamol from the small shelf in the bathroom, and swallowed two of the tablets from inside, wincing as he forced them down dry. Hesitating as his fingers began to move the lock on the door, he gulped, fear of what Isaac would do if he found the photos running through him. Dom decided to repress those thoughts.

_Isaac would only get angry because he feels bad about what happened. Why are you making such a big deal over it?_

“Here you go, Dominic. Beef bourguignon, your choice, and the finest red wine as a treat from me.” Isaac smiled, smugly, as he placed a neatly presented plate in front of Dominic at their small dining table. He poured half a glass of wine into Dominic’s glass; proceeding to being slightly more generous with his own glass.  
“You didn’t have to do all this, you know?” Isaac nodded at Dom, as he sat down opposite his boyfriend.  
“I think I did. I know we’ve both done some stuff to each other recently, that we both regret, but we can move on from this. We can make it work.” The pair held hands across the table and both smiled happily at each other. “On the condition, that when we have a fight, you come to me to work it out. We don’t need to get Zosia involved in every little argument, do we?” Dom shook his head, suddenly thinking how selfish he’d been to leave Isaac the night before.  
“I’m sorry.” He spoke quietly, purposely avoiding eye contact and retracting his hand to pick up his cutlery and start eating. Isaac smiled to himself before raising his glass towards the centre of the table.  
“To a fresh start?” Dom looked up. He placed his knife and fork back down, resting on the edge of his gleaming white plate. Saying nothing, Dom lifted his glass of wine up to Isaac’s, the glass clinking quietly as they met. Isaac grinned again, occasionally looking up at Dominic while they both began to eat.  
As Dom swallowed the first mouthful of Isaac’s, admirable, cooking, he felt his phone begin to vibrate in his pocket. Realising it was a call, he quickly slipped his phone out from his pocket, and glanced down at the name.

_Mother._

Dom stood up quickly flashing a sorry smile in Isaac’s direction and turning to face the window. He didn’t notice Isaac’s sharp intake of breath as he did so.  
Before he had a chance to answer it, Isaac was next to him, grabbing Dom’s phone from out of his hands. Isaac hastily pressed the ‘lock’ button on the phone, hanging up the call. He shoved the mobile violently into Dominic’s face, scowling aggressively as the force of his actions nearly sent Dom falling backwards. 

“Time and a place, Dom.”


	8. how did this happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I updated this, hoping to get into a more regular schedule with writing this, maybe posting every Saturday? (probably a bit ambitious for me oops)  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Dom crouched over the sink in the staff bathroom of Keller, once again tending to a bruise on his face. Dabbing concealer around his lip, he sighed, knowing how obvious it looked. Jumping at the bleeping of his pager, Dom quickly stuffed the make up back into his bag and made his way back on to the ward. He was met by Zosia, who had been stood outside the toilet for some time.  
“Stalking me?” Dom said. Neither he nor Zosia could tell if he was joking.  
“You didn’t answer my texts yesterday, I got worried.” The pair started walking towards the Nurses’ Station. “And I was paged for a cardiac consult.” Dom laughed, shaking his head at Zosia.  
“It was hectic yesterday, I just didn’t get a chance to breathe, let alone go to Pulses.”

Slipping her hand into his palm, Zosia stopped walking alongside him. Dom stood next to her, one hand being tightly held by Zosia; with Isaac he knew this would be threatening, the precursor to another outburst. With Zosia, it felt safe. Warm.  
“Today. One o’clock, meet me down in Pulses. I’m treating you to a panini.” Resuming their walk towards the Nurses’ Station, where Isaac was sat behind a computer, Dom just nodded in agreement.  
“Okay.” Smiling at Dom, Zosia turned away from him and let his hand go; Dom’s heart sinking slightly, secretly wanting to hold onto Zosia and never let her go. As she acknowledged Isaac looking up at her, her smile disappeared and the CT2 promptly left, to attend to her patient in Bay 5.  
“That looked tense,” Isaac stood up as he spoke, “what were you talking about?” Dom’s first finger began picking at his thumb again.  
“Nothing, just lunch.” Isaac looked at Dom, with a face of what could have been mistaken for inquisitiveness. Dom recognised it as control. “A panini in Pulses, that’s all. I promise.” Leaning over the desk to kiss Isaac, Dom smiled, hoping that his boyfriend would be content with his answers. He immediately regretted leaning over the desk as the pain in his ribs seemed to tear through his body. Isaac kissed him back, with a second of hesitation, and Dom relaxed.  
“What did I do to deserve that?” Isaac laughed, and Dom shrugged, smirking.

Maybe if he acted like everything if was normal, it could be.

Zosia sat at a table in Pulses, her foot lightly tapping repeatedly against the floor and her fingers periodically pressing on her phone; the screen lighting up to show her the time. As the time went by and texts went unanswered, Zosia, becoming increasingly worried about Dom, pushed her chair away from the small table in the middle of the hospital’s café and walked, faster than usual, to the lift. Stepping inside, she pushed the button for the third floor forcefully, multiple times.  
It felt like the doors were purposely taking an age to close; by the time the lift did start moving Zosia had been close to getting out and taking the stairs.  
Reaching Keller, she stepped out and looked around as the doors opened. Dom was just walking into the locker room, the door closing loudly behind him.  
No Isaac.  
Zosia sighed with relief, and she smiled, realising he was probably just caught up in theatre or with a difficult patient. She wandered over to the blind-covered windows and looked through. She guessed he was getting his wallet or his hoodie.  
Dominic stood in the locker room of Keller, facing the full-length mirror, the door shut behind him. The morning had gone without confrontation between him and Isaac, and Dom had secured an entire hour for his lunch; Sacha still wasn’t sure that Dom was a hundred percent and insisted he take an hour’s break.  
Dom’s only problem was the pain.  
The broken ribs hadn’t stopped sending sharp pains through Dom’s torso all morning. Hands shaking, he turned his body, so he was almost side-on to the mirror and reached over to lift his shirt. Looking at the multicoloured bruises scattered across his ribs, Dom winced, his face screwing up with pain as his fingers traced around the deepest of the bruises.

Zosia’s mouth hung open, shock overwhelming her body and thoughts racing through her mind. Without thinking about it, she practically threw herself at the door, the loud noise of it opening clearly making Dom flinch. He quickly dropped his shirt, the fabric once again covering the marks of Isaac’s anger.  
“Dom…” Zosia clearly intended to say more, but it was all she could make out; her voice was so choked up. Dom just turned away from her and walked over to the window, so he wouldn’t have to look at her. His face was bright red with embarrassment and fear, knowing what Isaac was capable of if he found out Zosia had seen anything.  
“Please don’t, Zosia. It’s nothing like that.” Dom heard Zosia scoff. He closed his eyes, wishing that this wasn’t happening.  
“Then what is it like?” Zosia shouted, unable to control her emotion. She was angry at herself for not noticing. Angry at Isaac for doing this to him. Angry at Dom for not telling her. “Dom, I’m so sorry.” She walked to him, noticing his flinch as her hand lay on his shoulder.  
“How… How did this happen?” Dom raised his arm, pushing Zosia’s hand off of him.  
“They’re just bruises.” His voice was defensive, harsh.  
“From what?” Zosia shook her head as she spoke.  
“I fell. In the shower.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but Zosia saw through straight through it. She walked over towards the door. Dom was almost relieved as her arm rose to the door’s handle, but instead of opening the door to leave, Zosia flipped the lock.  
“You don’t have to tell me everything, Dom,” She turned to lean her back against the door, “but I am not leaving you until I know who gave you those bruises.” Sitting down on the bench in the middle of the room, Zosia looked at Dom, who had turned to face her too.

Her face was worried, her concern for Dom obvious, even to him.  
His face was scared, his fear of Isaac obvious, even to her.

Dom reluctantly sat down next to Zosia, taking her hand that lay out for him on top of her knee.  
“He just… got really angry and it caught me off guard. I promise I’m fine.”  
“When?”  
“Thursday night.” And last night. And probably tomorrow too.  
“Dom…” Zosia meant to sound comforting, but it came out as a scared whisper. “Have you had an x-ray or anything?” Dom nodded, his eyes closed as the tears started falling.  
“Two broken ribs.”  
“Right, Dom, you’re coming over to stay at mine.” Zosia stood up, but Dom stayed seated.  
“No, Zosia, I can’t.” He wiped the tears from his face and was careful to keep the sleeve of his scrubs pulled down enough to hide the bruises on his arm. “If I leave him alone again…”  
“Dom. I mean permanently. We have to go and tell Sacha, I don’t want you anywhere near that monster.”  
“This is just a blip, Zosia, he’s not a monster!” Zosia placed her hand on Dom’s side, shaking her head.  
“This is monstrous, Dominic. You think this is love?”  
“It’s just intense; Isaac loves me and he’s not afraid to show it.” Tearing himself away from Zosia, Dom grabbed his hoodie off of a hook near his locker. “At least it’s not some beige, is-it-on-is-it-off...”  
“Well it’s certainly not beige.” The hurt was obvious in Zosia’s voice, but Dom could hear Isaac’s words ringing in his head. He didn’t need her; he had Isaac.  
“Like you and Ollie!” Turning to the door, Dom looked at the floor in shame. “Please, Zosh, just dont breathe a word to anyone. You’ll just make it worse.” Dom walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.  
Zosia couldn’t move, her body glued to the floor, stunned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to @rycbarmerlin (tumblr) for proof reading and editing this!


	9. under the thumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// abuse (realised i havent been putting these on any of my other chapters sorry!)
> 
> thanks again for reading and sorry for the long wait in between chapters! comment/kudos if you'd like!

Dom sat outside the hospital, on the uncomfortable wooden bench that was once his favourite place to have emergency meetings with Zosia and Arthur, his head arched over his phone.

_ Please can we just forget about this, Zosia? _

He’d written, deleted, and rewritten the message countless times, worried that his words wouldn’t be enough to convince her to keep quiet about what she’d seen. What he’d said.  
Pressing send, he looked up, noticing Isaac stood behind the huge window in the stairwell on the third floor. Dom pretended not to see him and quickly stood up, his hand reaching up to his face. He stopped himself, remembering the already badly applied makeup that he didn’t want to smudge further. Dom stuffed his hands back in his pockets as he walked towards the peace garden; right now, the only person he wanted to talk to was Arthur.  
He sat himself below the wonky plaque that had been put up after Arthur had died. Dominic tried to think of something to say, but he knew he couldn’t explain it. If he were here, Arthur would agree with Zosia; _ but neither of them understand. He loves me.  
_ His mobile phoned buzzed in his pocket. Worried it could be Isaac, Dom quickly put the phone into his palm to check.

Zosia’s name sat in the bar that ran the width of the screen and Dom sighed, partly in relief, partly in annoyance at himself; he should have just kept her out of it.

_ Pulses? Please x _

Five minutes later, Dom walked through the glass doors of the hospital’s Wyvern Entrance. He saw that Zosia was sat at the table opposite the lift in Pulses, two paninis sat in front of her. Her hands were clenched together tightly, her fingers from each hand interlocking. Seeing Dom stood hesitantly at the door, her eyes lit up.  
“Hey,” she said, standing up from her seat, “I wasn’t sure you’d come.” Dom sat down but didn’t say anything back. He looked down at his panini that Zosia had bought for him. “Listen, there was a reason that I wanted to talk to you in the first place, before…”  
“Before you called my boyfriend monstrous and threaten to tell Sacha about a couple of bruises?” Both doctors were shocked at what Dom had said; he wanted to be apologetic, but he knew he had to keep Zosia safe. He had to keep Zosia out of it.  
“Dom, please. You need help.”  
“I don’t need help and there is nothing wrong.” Dom said, defensively. “Isaac and I are fine.”  
“You don’t have to lie, Dom. Please, can you just let me take a look at you later, before I leave?” Noticing the confusion on Dom’s face, Zosia continued. “This is what I wanted to talk to you about. Jac’s offered me a placement.”  
“Where?”  
“Yale.” Zosia sighed, knowing she shouldn’t be leaving her friend like this.  “I’m sorry. I fly out tomorrow.”  
“Don’t be stupid, Zosh, that’s amazing.” For a moment, Zosia saw a glimpse of the ‘old Dom’, the person she became friends with.  
“Dominic, if you want me to stay, look a-“  
“Look after me?” Dom cut Zosia off. “I don’t need you to look after me, alright?” As he spoke, Zosia saw Isaac walk out the lift. He walked towards Zosia and Dom, placing his hand on Dom’s shoulder from behind him.  
Recognising the slight squeeze on his shoulders from Isaac’s hands, Dom couldn’t help but flinch.  
“That’s right, he’s got me.” Isaac smiled, but Zosia just glared back at him. Dom stood up, pushing the untouched panini back towards Zosia.  
“Look, I’m not hungry, but please, go be brilliant at Yale.” Fighting back the tears that were forming in his eyes, Dom walked away, pressing the button for the lift. He couldn’t face turning back around to see the hurt on Zosia’s face, but he heard Isaac say, “Doctor March,” before he joined his boyfriend at the door of the lift.

Pacing the staffroom of Darwin, all Zosia could think about was Dom. She’d texted him repeatedly through the second half of her shift - taking every excuse to fetch bits of equipment, make teas, and use the bathroom to get the opportunity to check her phone; but she’d heard nothing back from the fellow CT2.  
Desperate to see him before either of them left for home, or Yale in Zosia’s case, she jumped at the chance to do a cardiac consult down on Keller. Practically running to the General Surgery Ward, Zosia’s heart was racing, in anxiety and excitement; she just hoped she could speak to Dom without Isaac’s interference. Walking on to the ward, it took all her willpower not to run straight to Dom, who she spotted on the other side of the ward.  
“Zosia!” Instantly recognising Sacha’s warm tone, Zosia turned to him at the Nurses’ Station, both of them smiling widely, not having seen each other for a few weeks. “I heard about your placement, that’s incredible.” The pride was obvious on the consultant’s face.  
“Thank you, Sacha. Really, thank you.” Zosia had missed Keller and, although she knew cardiothoracic surgery was where she belonged, it felt good to be able to work with the Keller team again.  
“Right,” Sacha said, rubbing his hands together, “here for Gerry Fooks, I presume?” Zosia nodded, and Sacha extended his arm in the direction of a bed ahead of them. He led the way, and as Zosia rubbed sanitizer over her hands, Sacha beckoned Dominic over. Zosia looked over at Dominic, who did not seem to attempt to hide his shock at Zosia’s presence.  
Reaching the bed, Dom opened his mouth to speak, but Zosia spoke first.  
“Jac’s in surgery, Mo’s with a post-op patient. I’m your only option, I’m afraid.” She picked up the patient’s file as Dom shook his head.  
“I wasn’t going to say anything like that.” It was a weak mumble, barely audible, but Zosia gave him an understanding look. Sacha stood at the end of the bed, confused by the frostiness between the pair, but decided to ignore it; he concluded it was none of his business.  
“Gerry, this is Doctor March, Doctor March, we think that Gerry may have pleural empyema.” Zosia gave a quick smile to the patient, whilst she listened to his chest through her purple stethoscope. Sacha lifted the cloth that covered a wound on the patient’s leg, and Dom leant over it, trying to have a look, but had to step back from the bed. The smell was overwhelming for the two CT2s, but Sacha continued talking.  
“Dr March, any ideas?” Zosia looked uncertain. “You haven’t forgotten everything I taught you, have you?” She laughed slightly.  
“Uhh, gangrene? Venous ulceration?” She said, hesitantly. Sacha asked Dom to take another look, and he quickly decided it was pseudomonas.  
“Good work, Doctor Copeland, you win today’s infection identification prize.” Zosia and Sacha laughed, and Dom gave a weak smile. Zosia asked a nearby nurse to order a chest X-Ray and CT, before quietly asking to speak to Dom alone. Dom didn’t resist going with Zosia, but he was apprehensive about Isaac seeing them. 

_ He’s in surgery all evening _ . He tried to keep reminding himself.  


Pulling a curtain shut around a cubicle, Zosia put her hands on Dom’s shoulders.  
“I’m so sorry, Dom. I just want my friend back, the Old Dom. Not this Dom, not under-the-thumb Dom.” Dominic looked down at the floor.  
“I’m not...” He began, but his words trailed off. He wasn’t convincing anyone, not even himself.  
“Listen, tonight. I’m having a few leaving drinks and I would really love you to be there.” His eyes looked up to meet her gaze again, and he smiled; and despite it being a sad smile, it was more than she’d seen him smile in a long time.

“Definitely.”  



	10. sad smile

Dom sat uncomfortably on a stool at the bar of Albie’s, anxiously anticipating a text from Isaac to appear on his phone. He’d just sent a message, detailing his whereabouts, why he was there, and how long he’d be; hoping it would be enough to keep Isaac from worrying about him. His eyes instinctively switched between focusing on the phone on the bar in front of him and the door on the other side of the pub; waiting for Zosia to appear within the dark door frame.  
His leg was shaking up and down, his white trainers tapping against the some-what flimsy feeling stool. He could sense the uncomfortable feeling of the strong painkillers wearing off, silently cursing himself that he hadn’t brought more with him.  
Painkillers and alcohol don’t mix anyway. He was almost relieved he couldn’t be tempted to take more, knowing the amount of alcohol he intended to consume; he already had a cocktail in front of him, which followed a few shots that he’d downed upon entering the pub: to numb the pain of both the physical and emotional sides of Isaac’s abuse.

Not that Dom would ever call it that.

Focused intently on his phone, after seeing Isaac’s profile set to online, Dominic didn’t notice Zosia walking through the door; only the cheers of some of his colleagues making him raise his gaze to meet Zosia’s. She was smiling, but looking only at Dom, trying to read him. If anything had happened.  
Or would happen.  
Dom smiled back, quickly locking his phone as she walked towards. He knew he shouldn’t be worrying her with anymore of the Isaac stuff; soon she’d be gone. Safe. She gestured to the barman, who almost immediately brought over the same cocktail that sat in front of Dom.  
“Jac’s put fifty quid behind the bar, can I get you anything else?” Zosia asked, breaking the silence between them that was almost becoming awkward.  
“Leaving gift from Jacular? High praise indeed, but I’m fine with this.” Zosia tilted her head him, finding it unusual that her best friend (and drinking buddy) of almost 4 years was refusing a drink. Dom could tell exactly what she was thinking. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m already a round of shots ahead of you.” They both laughed, Dom remembering what his life used to be like; before Isaac. Before Arthur died. Before everything had changed.  
“Come on, we’ve got a dance floor to rip up!” Zosia shouted, louder than she needed to, over the music. She jumped up out of her seat, grabbing Dom by the arm as she did, practically dragging him to the ‘dance floor’; which was in reality the crowded area of Albie’s between the bar and the tables that lined the wall. One arm holding onto Dom, so tightly, he thought, she’d never let go, and the other clinging to her drink and raised above her head, Zosia pushed her way through the crowd of people before settling on a spot right in the middle of the pub.  
Dom felt bad; they were only there for a few drinks after a 12-hour shift.

Gradually, more people arrived for Zosia’s leaving drinks, by which time both Dom and Zosia had had a considerable amount to drink; Dom more so than Zosia. She’d noticed that Dom became more subdued when he drank nowadays, not giggly like he used to.  
Excusing herself from the debate between Morven and Jasmine, over which colour tiles they should use in their kitchen, Zosia made her way over to Dom, who was stood, drink in hand, next to Sacha and Essie; both of whom had noticed that he hadn’t been saying much all evening. Zosia snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms over his shoulders, holding her hands tightly together as they rested on his chest.  
They both pretended to ignore the flinch.  
He raised his hand and rested it on Zosia’s arm, looking back and smiling at her. It was a sad smile; knowing this would be one of the last time he’d see his best friends for months, maybe longer.  
“I’m so proud of you Zosh.” She grinned back at him, pecking his cheek.  
“What am I going to do without you, Dom?” Her arms slid back to her own sides, and she came to stand next to Dom, resting her head on his shoulder.  
“I think you mean, what am I going to do without you?” He hugged her, as if he would never let go. Eventually, he took a step backwards, feeling his mobile vibrating frantically in his back pocket. “I better get going, Zosia. I love you.”  
“I’ll ring, every day, I promise.” She stepped towards him for another hug goodbye, but it lasted only seconds.

Then he was gone and so was she.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the massive gap between chapters, I have mocks at college coming up and a levels suckkkkk so bad! I hope you enjoy this chapter and I promise it wont be too long before the next one!  
> Thanks for sticking with me on this, I promise I'll get a bit more consistent, even if things do get a bit more dramatic for Dom...

**Author's Note:**

> The title of the work and chapter is from Zannah's (notjustblonde/notjustbland on youtube) song Pins and it's so beautiful and it's the main inspiration for this work and everything so yeah listen to that.  
> Thank you for reading and you know leave a comment if you want (am i trying to hard? yes, yes you are)


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